Dear Hillary Madam President soon-to-be,
News has broken about the choices at the top of your list for VP. We here at Campaign Strategy Central cannot contain our excitement!
Both Sen. Tim Kaine (D-VA) and The Hon. Tom Vilsack (Secretary of Agriculture) conform closely to the advice we’ve been giving you. Let us count the ways …
1. They certainly won’t make anyone mad.
2. Neither one even turns people off much. So Democratic turnout should be no greater challenge for you than it is right now. (A separate memo on that will follow.)
3. Neither would upstage you on the campaign trail. They are not charismatic speakers, no rival for your oratory. Truth be told, they will be no distraction whatever.
4. They are unlikely to assert views different from your own, an advantage during campaigns.
5. They have few qualifications and minimal experience. Thankfully, in this election year, these are not deficits. Your Republican opponent has none of the above and you have all anyone could ever need.
6. Either VP choice would be readily replaceable in his current job. Finding a successor for either of them will not be difficult.
7. Being largely unknown outside Virginia and Iowa, respectively, they present no challenges to Secret Service protection. In fact, both of them could saunter through campaign crowds, gathering uninhibited reactions to your stump speech and stirring up enthusiasm as needed.
8. And later, when they visit the White House for the occasional ceremonial appearance, either would blend well into the woodwork, leaving the Big Dog free to roam at will, unimpeded by any other male power figure.
Yours Obediently,
The Staff